Nine lives before Christmas and in the RV, two felines were climbing up my Christmas tree
The lights and the baubles I’d hung up with care, strewn wall to wall not a single one spared
Shredded remains of my prized Christmas cactus, total destruction they’ve had lots of practice
They found the pine cones left a trail of debris, nothing was spared in the wake of their spree
Forget wrapping presents dispense with the bows, the effort is useless the gifts they’ll expose
I tried hanging garland, Oh what was I thinking, my light strings are broken they’re no longer blinking
I chased them outside tried to clear out my head, they came back in soaking wet jumped on my bed
What if St. Nick dares to come bearing gifts, they’ll ambush his sleigh from behind the snow drifts
Busting cat Kung Fu they’ll knock him out cold, one tailbone broken a fright to behold
Flat on his back splayed out under the trees, cookies and milk won’t fix his injuries
Journey cut short by two renegade cats, no toys for the children no balls and no bats
Packages strewn from his sleigh to the house, next year he’s packing a catnip stuffed mouse
